Heartbeat

One Day

2011-10-29T07:25:00.000-07:00

The morning sun woke me up from sleep - an endless journey of an empty dream where I adjourn to, each night. It is the weekend where I am alone again, with a cereal box and a half carton milk left in the fridge.

Days like these make me wonder if living with a broken heart makes any sense to anyone else, other than the victim ?

As I get up from the white covers, forcing myself off bed, I realised that it is such a ridiculous routine that I do everyday. The reason to crawl off bed and make my way down the stairs is a ridiculous notion to make myself feel normal, when in actual fact, my feelings are no longer under my control.

Then, I thought that this time, perhaps, I need to move on. For a moment, a slight moment, it almost sink into me, but how can I move on when I'm still in love with you?

Lying Comfort

2011-04-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

How many times do you have to lie in order to make peace with yourself?

Do you sit at the corner, light a cigarette and reminisce about the past?

Or do you tell yourself that everything is alright, when nothing is.

You take a look around the room.

All you can see are the wrong, awful things...dusts fill the air.

All you can do is watch is silence because the wall of lies you've made...falls apart.

Tell me, are we lying for the sake of lying or simply to make it seem alright when forgiveness is now out of reach?

Cliche.

2010-11-10T07:14:00.000-08:00

If I had to write you a song

It would probably sound like

Nails on a chalkboard

With addictive beats

Of cracking glasses and smashing mirrors.

I want to

2010-08-28T10:28:00.001-07:00

be free...

breathe...

freely...

So They Say...

2010-08-28T10:18:00.000-07:00

Don't worry. It is probably the time for you to worry. They can be very misleading. They expect you to read between the lines. They are who they are in your life. They most probably become/became or is your constant thought. They.

She and they may not go well sometimes. There are also situations when they overpowers she. In return, she hides. She isolates, she runs. Or at times, she stays and endures all. They, are those who have control over her thoughts. Everyday.

So when you come in to the picture, you are the person, the main subject, the true character. Which also means more control and emotions are placed in you, your position. They can be your priority but you, you are the real priority. Not they, because they are them and you, is you.

Weather Gone Bad

2010-07-16T08:28:00.001-07:00

The wind is practically howling...right outside my balcony tree branches shake violently. I freak out a little when the weather turns bad.

Mother nature seems to be pretty violent as the earth ages. Fear is definitely my closest friend these days.

Green as it can be

2010-05-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

Bottles of Heineken

Green as it can be

Sweet drug to the sorrows

A sip, twice and a gulp

Brings sunshine and brightness.

Tipsy, heat and adrenaline

Emotions flutter in the

Pits of your gut.

Green Heineken bottles

Emptied one after another

Goodnight sweet world

As another dream summons.

Bells of Hell

2010-04-26T06:28:00.000-07:00

I can't hear the bells

of heaven.

Though it is ringing,

singing into my ears.

All I can feel

is, the burning desire

of hell.

Knocking, hovering

at my front door.

Hopeless and innocence

Saved me from me.

Desperation and corruption

Avenged me and only me.

Pink Lights

2010-04-23T17:47:00.000-07:00

Pink Lights

Stage Fright

Need time to take a hike.

Loveless,

Colours,

Oh so bright.

I wish, wish, wish

This is the right flight

Bitterness into the night.

I Swear...

2010-04-14T09:52:00.000-07:00

I have seen your face before.

Did we ever meet?

Or have we met?

If we ever meet, again.

Perhaps I would know.

Maybe the bus, train or even a cab.

Somewhere in a mall or a hall.

Near the phone booth or the bathroom.

Or is it the mirror of the washroom?

I swear, if we ever meet, again.

It Will Never be the Same

2010-04-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

Anna took a sip of the white Chardonnay and looked out the window.

"How much is it? This place. I love the view, hate the decor."

"It is more than what you can afford. And stop acting like you are really looking at the house. We are here to observe. Remember?"

"Can't a girl enjoy a sip of wine and act as if she has got the world right in her own hands?"

"There he is. Hurry up and stop drinking before you get tipsy and all."

"Alright, alright. Sheesh."

Anna walked with Smith to the dining hall, holding hands, pretending and observing.

***

"So, what's the conclusion?"

"Once she knows about this. It will never be the same."

"Well, yeah. Are you gonna give her then news then?"

"I have to. It's what we do."

"Oh yes, Mr.Responsible. Despite us ruining her life."

"Stop it. Nothing is permanent, except change. She will have to learn to deal with it."

"Whatever you say, boss."

"Let's go."

They drove away from the mansion that oversees the ocean.

***

Gossip Pop, Headline:

Songstress Lilian Louie's Suicidal Mission

Something's Wrong Somewhere and...

2010-03-17T05:24:00.000-07:00

I just can't put my finger on it. Oh wait...let me *see*...

Project Paper not done...in fact, might not be done (at the snail scale I am going)
Blog shop on hold...
Do not have enough Moo-Lah (ugh!)
What the heck am I doing with my life? (Sorry, I need to rant)
I am afraid of graduating. I am afraid of leaving university. I am afraid of the working "world". I am afraid of being judge. I am afraid of losing everything (well, I don't own much..). I am afraid of this transition in life.

There, I said it. Happy? Now, scoot. Move on. Go finish your project paper at least until Chapter 3. Skip sleep. You don't need it anyways =P

i lost my...

2010-02-11T09:40:00.000-08:00

-self in the rain

on my way home

to nowhere

not here or there

i lost myself

in you

immersed

deep,deep

into the sea

i lost myself...

in you ~

The Story of this Puppy...

2009-11-25T07:59:00.000-08:00

"Hey Shorty...wanna let me out and play?"

"Pretty Puleeezeeee"

" If this hole is big enufff"

" I am innocent..."

" Let me out already XD"

2009-08-08T03:45:00.000-07:00

Someone once told me,running is a great sport to blow off some steam.I ran a lot...but it'd never helped me in any ways.

.::Oh My::.

2009-04-06T08:56:00.000-07:00

"Oh My, Oh My..." the only words formed from her mouth when her hand was soaked in warm red liquid. Her lips trembled with fear and huge drops of tears wet her cheeks.It was the end for her.It was the end for Lily Macy.Odd enough,she picked up the shiny knife and headed to the kitchen.

The kitchen light flickered when she switched it on.She started to hum a song.Then thoughts flooded her senses..."Wipe the knife clean,Lily. He won't hurt you anymore. Hide the knife if you must...then run off...run Lily,run..."

Lily started to cry again, this time more furiously. "Stop it, you! Stop this nonsense! You made me kill...I killed..."

"Yes Lily, you killed him. You wanted it, you wanted to kill him more than anything else...I only made you wish come true...Lily,it was what you wished for...wasn't it?"

Lily only continued crying, breathing heavily she shouted, "Stop it, Rebecca! You're not making me do anything anymore!...I am not you!...I won't be you..."

"Oh...but Lily,you just killed him.You are never going to leave me now, are you?"

The shiny knife reflected Lily's face. Her lips curved into a smile. It wasn't Lily anymore,was it?

.::A Basket of Flowers::.

2009-02-06T21:04:00.000-08:00

He was really different from anyone you had ever known.He doesn't speak much.He would listen if you tell him a story or take a sit when you invite him to...it was impossible to get him to talk.Silence was a way to describe him - his only trait,silence.

They said he paints and writes.Of what?I have no idea.Someone tried to love him.She held his hand and went for a stroll in the park.Spent more time in the town's cafe and even watched a play.When they finally went back to his home,he simply closed the door,living the poor girl outside.

A women,a senior of her age tried to keep him as her lover.She thought he was interesting,charming even.He was physically thin,had broad shoulders and with sunken eyes.She tried to bribe him with gifts of the finest tools for his creations,clothes made of silk and sweet promises...he stopped answering the door everytime she rang the doorbell.It was hopeless.

No men understood why he was thought interesting.No man became his friend.They only knew him as Wilbur,a painter and writer.Wilbur lived in a apartment standing tall in the town square.His apartment window overlooks the town's cafe and market - too much to be missed if he leaves his apartment.

Wilbur spent his time painting during the day,writes poems during the night.No one knew if his creations were sold,no one in town bought them.The apartment was surprisingly clean,cleaner than a woman's closet.The wallboard was covered with notes Wilbur writes daily, small notes for his eyes only. "Wash the clothes,then paint","Buy more oranges from the market","Sweep the floor before the evening" - his notes reminded him of everything and that was why Wilbur was not only quiet,but rather odd.

It only took one morning to make a difference in Wilbur's life.He was staring out his window,as he always did.A figure walked about in the market,with a basket filled with fresh flowers from the florist.A figure that caught his attention,he was mesmerized.Wilbur was mesmerized by a figure in a dark purple dress,with brown hair whom was holding a basket of flowers.His heart fell right out of the window into the woman's basket.

Wilbur suddenly realised that his painting of daffodils turned into a basket of flowers.It didn't matter if the painting was ruined because Wilbur also realised he fell love.In love with the figure in a dark pruple dress,with brown soft hair and she held a basket of flowers.

.::Dia Kata...::.

2009-01-15T05:12:00.000-08:00

Sambil-sambil merokok,tangan kirinya cuba mencapai tanganku yang masih lagi memakai cincin yang diberi olehnya.Kisah relationship kami berdua,kira rumit katanya...Sebab apa ? Sebab sayang...dan sebab kami masing-masing mempunyai keinginan untuk memiliki seseorang.Inilah manusia,tamak dan mempunyai keinginan yang akhirnya akan menyakiti diri sendiri.

Dia kata, lagu MLTR, "Love Never Lies" ialah benar kerana cuma manusia yang akan menipu sesama sendiri...akibatnya cinta disalahkan kerana terasa sakit apabila perpisahan berlaku.Aku cuma mendengar dan merenung wajahnya yang membuat hatiku terasa sejuk dan tenang.Is it true love ?

Rokok,lagu,kopi dan cinta...itulah antara top priorities dia.Dia pernah kata yang dia tidak akan berjanji,cuma berharap yang hubungan ini kekal...dan aku cuma mengangguk setuju...kerana,aku tahu yang perpisahan akan berlaku dalam hidup ini.

.::And So...::.

2009-01-10T18:54:00.000-08:00

And so,we decided to walk under the rain with our ridiculously small umbrellas and got ourselves drenched from head to toe.The weather was messing with us since the day we got there - a vacation we wouldn't missed for anything else, or so it seems. That chilly evening brought us to this local pub&cafe,which was located a few blocks away from the hotel we were staying.

The occasional stares and darting glances assured us that the locals knew we are not one of them.Fortunately I felt at ease while admiring certain decos of the little pub - a few acoustic guitars hung in the wall with photos of guitarists like Tommy Emmanuel, Eric Clapton, Mason Williams...the place seemed rathe quiet.Perhaps it was still too early for a drink.

When she finally made up her mind on what to order for dinner,I was already halfway through deciding desserts for the night.The meal was satisfactory,a little salty to my liking but I enjoyed just spending some time out of the hotel and the rain for now.

Sometimes I wonder if she feels the same as I do.It has been more than 2 years and yet I can never put my finger on what is exactly going through her mind.My train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the familiar tune of,"You Look Wonderful Tonight" by Eric Clapton.One of the songs that will only remind me of her saying it's her father's favourite song...she took it as one of her favourite memories of her parents.

After paying for the meal,I was ready to leave the place and was already thinking about the next activity.She caught me by the arm when we were walking out of the place - surely every other person inside would be staring at us from the back of our heads.As the door closes behind us,she smiled and looked at me with those deep beautiful eyes and said,"So my dearest friend,where should we head to next?"

.::Tut...tut...Tut...::.

2008-11-30T01:42:00.000-08:00

Lagu 4 In The Morning mengejutkan aku yang terlelap di sofa ruang tamu.Bloody hell,it's really 4 in the morning!!Aku jawab panggilan tersebut...

"Helo?..."

"Er...aku..."

"..."

"Aku..."

"Ya,engkau?..."

"Aku..."

Tut...tut...tut...

Dengan rasa tidak puas hati,aku baling handset aku ke arah yang bertentangan.Aku capai kotak Dunhill dan mula mempraktikkan tabiat burukku.

Kadang-kala,ada yang salah nombor ataupun prankster yang sedang bosan dan baru je permainkan aku.Suaranya membuatku teringatkan dia.Entahlah...mungkin ya,mungkin tidak.Kenangan lalu,memang sukar dilupakan.

Yang aku tahu,apa yang sahabatku kata memang benar..."It's like a shattered piece of glass that's stuck inside your bloody heart and it hurts as long as your heart continues to beat..."

Sambil menikmati aroma Dunhill,aku tutup mata dan berkata pada diriku...well,it hurts more than it should.

*huhuhu...it may sound "klise" but this was what I got during the journey home.

.::Something Very Normal...or Is It?::.

2008-11-29T04:08:00.000-08:00

She walked into the room.It was dim,with a yellowish light bulb swinging from left to right and right to left.She looked at him and felt numb,rather emotionless because she did not know what to feel...or rather how to feel.Then again,life hardly makes much sense when this sort of things happen.So,she stared at the intensed crowd in the room...they were whispering and gesturing each other about the whole situation.None of them wanted to be responsible for this matter and it was not in her position to decide what to do.After all,she was the third generation of the family...a least important character,altogether.

They slowly retreated from the room,leaving the person there for a moment.She was puzzled with how fast and painless the process was...and the fact that no one shed a single tear.Maybe it was just one of the things in life...something very normal...or was it?She took a long breathe and walk ed to the lift,wanting to leave this to them.Men and women dressed in white were walking and back and forth...making her feel like she was once again trapped in her own world,where she sees everyone and nobody sees her.How awkward?

Entering the lift,she saw that they were not there anymore.Probably gone to finish the rest of the procedure...the lift closed with a thud sound.She told herself,"Now they are orphans...so are mum and dad."

.::Mortal Pain::.

2008-11-28T09:04:00.000-08:00

Death,
A way of escaping pain
Another common ordeal
Of mortals on earth.

It roams and seeks
It hunts for its victims
Death leaves everyone
Trembling and sobbing
The terror it causes
Human emotions to succumb.

And because it hurts
Death comes without a sign
Or warning...only a time
When everyone
Lives and dies.

.::LemonS::.

2008-11-14T06:08:00.000-08:00

Last summer
We picked lemons
Squeezed em' good
Made em' drinkable
Sweet tangy lemonades.

Lemons,
Sour,yellow and vibrant
Just like youth
Filled with flavours
Different taste when its mixed
Combination or strawberry,
Cherry,Orange or Mint.

It hardly makes any sense,
Cause' when life gives you lemons,
Make em' into good ol'
Lemonades.

.::All Apart Of...::.

2008-10-18T10:31:00.000-07:00

Roses on the floor,
Petals floating on water,
Torns cut the wound,
Of a heart breaking.

Fatal death,
With the existence of love,
All apart of the accidents,
All apart of miracles.

Smile,cause it's another day,
Not just pain, it's more of a shame,
Pride and joy,
The ultimate irony,
Of mankind.

.::Dull::.

2008-09-17T09:29:00.000-07:00

Just another day
Of the mundane routine
Black suites and white lies
Heavy eye lids and trembling fingers

A long night on the phone
Making it all grey
The sun’s coming up
In a single snap

Broken glasses and painted windows
Mahogany table wet with liquid
The couch stained with wine
Air, so moist

I lifted my hands
From the clinging sheets
No, it’s another day of dread
Yes, my day of death.

.::It's Time To Go...::.

2008-09-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

Staring into the dark sky,I only managed see a glimpse of the stars.It was another night when I feel devastated about the past...remembering it makes my stomach churn.I should have known better to be alone tonight.Cursing,I took the last bottle of Heineken from the fridge.The cool glass pierced my skin...it reminded me of the sharp knife coloured with thick red blood,my blood to be precise.I tried to shrug off the feeling of being cut...but it never fails to haunt me.Oh God,spare me another night of misery.

The cold beer flows into my throat,making it a pleasurable experience.I managed to walk my way to the couch,before my usual migraint hits me.It's the past alright.Emotionally burn out,physically dying.Sometimes I wished I was dead...because it hurts to carry all of it with me.But then again,my mind is probably just messing with me.Perhaps a little change would do me good.Would it?

The needle of the clock is ticking, but too slow..I swallowed hard,feeling more anxious for the night to end.The wooden floor squeaked a little when I dragged myself out to the porch.The sky is now with more clouds covering all the stars.Not another rainy night.I knew the last drop of alcohol is not enough to make me sleep,but cigarettes would not help either.But I had to keep myself occupied,or else.The lighter you bought for me was not in my pocket.I fumbled through the cushions,knowing that it must have fell out.The shiny silver lining caught my eye,I lit my cigarette and started puffing.I do feel better,don't I?

Raindrops wet the front porch,making the air cooler.By then,I finished my fourth cigarette.Nothing crossed my mind,accept the painful migraint.I tried to close my eyes and breathe in deeper...hoping that when I opened them,it will be morning.The sound of raindrops got louder,so I retreat into the bathroom and washed my face.It's barely past midnight... will you be coming?

I lay my head on the cushion,resting myself...I forced myself to breathe slower,I could hardly stay calm.The rain hadn't stop when my mind started to replay the images of red blood,knife,scars...All of a suuden,you came in swiftly through the front door,drenched.I turned to look at you and that's when you grabbed me by the arm and whispered,"Baby,it's time to go..."

**I got bored...pls bare with the grammatical errors...first draft =P

.::Star::.

2008-08-18T08:15:00.000-07:00

I am sexy,you're sleazy,
You're nothing but a boy.
I am naughty and bubbly,
Someone who loves to toy.

I am funny,you're nerdy,
You're everything but a hunk.
If you think I'm a meany,
Boy you better not be drunk.

Cause' I ain't here,
Just to play around,
I'm gonna be a star.

I am hot,she's not,
She's nothing but a geek.
I am smart and lovely,
Someone who rocks the world.

I am rich,she's poor,
She's everything but Me.
If you think I am crazy,
Girl you better not hate me.

Cause' I ain't here,
For no reason,
I am gonna be a star.

*Something that popped into my head a while ago...hahaha...such a cliche cheerleading stint.

.::We::.

2008-07-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

Tick Tack Toe

We played in a row

You lose I won

We pick a straw.

She runs I walk

And you hide near by

Just another game

Where we laugh and cry.

.::SongS and All ThaT::.

2008-07-21T05:22:00.000-07:00

Rhythm tapping
And soul fulfilling
Songs I listen to
Make me feel blue
Calm or miserable
Depending on the mood
The atmosphere
Or maybe the melody itself
Words,words,words...
The lyrics sink in...
Hurts me to the core
Songs,songs,songs
And all that
Colours my life
Opening another dimension
Another world
Away from here
More peace and pleasant views
Life,life,life
Simply sung in songs.

*Please note that this is a bunch of random phrases.Thank You =)

.::I Ran Into...::.

2008-07-17T08:44:00.001-07:00

I ran into my first love today. She looks different with the new hair style. Even so, she still puts on the same perfume, the one that reminds me of purple lavenders. We bumped into each other at a book store. A place we never visited while we were together. It’s always awkward to find out more things about your ex-lover after both of you have parted.

I invited her for a drink or two, but we ended up in a non-alcohol coffee house. She enjoys coffee as much as I do, just that I prefer black coffee while she simply love coffee with more milk. We talked about everything under the sun, accept about us that is. She told me about her job and I told her why I quit my current one. Somehow, being with her made me feel calm. Maybe it’s the weather or the cosy coffee house. I’d never know. Her eyes are still so mesmerizing, dark brown eyes – the ones I’d never forget.

It was as if the clock stopped ticking because we spent almost two hours, randomly talking about each others’ life. The best part was, I asked about her parents despite the fact that I didn’t really care, but simply to see if she’d finally moved from her parents’ place. She moved alright. I wonder where to? Never asked, didn’t have the guts. Served me right anyways - I wanted the break up 3 years ago. I asked for it because I felt like I wasn’t ready to commit to her. A very good decision because I can’t even keep up with the bills.

She stared at me for a moment when I drank a big gulp from the coffee mug. But she never popped the question. She didn’t ask if I was single or at least available. Perhaps she could guess, judging the way I told her about my life. When it was time for her to go, we exchanged our mobile numbers. She insisted on paying for the coffee even when I told her I’d handle it. Nothing much has changed about her, only her fashion sense of course. She looked more…elegant.

Here I am slouching at shabby yellow couch…wondering if I should call her? Or simply forget about her, before I wind up her life again.

* Please note that this is simply fictional...Hehe.Something I wrote a while ago,but I changed the story a bit...hopefully it is not too bad ^^

.::Rainbows::.

2008-07-17T08:08:00.000-07:00

Colours, Colours, Colours everywhere;
Flowers in the meadow,
Corals in the sea.

The earth is shone with golden drops,
And soothing dews of summer rain.

She smiles so brightly,
Without a doubt,
She shines so deeply,
Into my soul.

.::For Once::.

2008-07-07T04:41:00.001-07:00

For once
Let me laugh
Without a tear
Let me forget you
With nothing to fear
Because being me
I am too kind
To say no
To all your deeds
And simply oblige to
Your every need.

For once
Let me choose
To be who I am
What I feel
Or what I think
Because being you
The undying dictator
You never seem
To give up
On suffocating my rights.

For once
Let me be me.

.::The End Of The Semester::.

2008-07-03T03:18:00.000-07:00

Here I am,taking a break at Auntie Anne's...reminding myself that this is the last week of the short semester! Last week of my 4th semester =) And I can't wait till the next semester comes. Wee~~ Seriously,I am definitely enjoying my life as a university student. Well,well,well...What have I accomplished this semester? Plenty. Erm,but I am not very proud of them. I have been occasionally late for classes (sorry) and I simply scrambled facts into my brain hours before my quizzes =P Other than those two ba habits...I have learned that I prefer to write using the first person point of view and read when it is the thrid person point of view (not very sure which one,specifically) And oh yeah, computers are more interesting and fragile than they seem...being less ignorant about eletronic devices is a blessing...

This semester brings new meaning to friendship, politics and a whole lot more family drama. Funny family dramas, mind you. The casual conversations about my big brother being married to some chick in India cracks me up.The long distance phone calls from my brother often send me laughing due to the amount of annoyance my parents feel, right after their conversation. It's amazing how they'd argue about the slightest thing. Friends? The usual doses of teasing and a little complain from me works all the time...we are always having trouble deciding where to eat...I wonder why? Politics? Hmm...let's not get there. A little to heavy for my blogging appetite, actually. I enjoyed writing more than ever =) Thanks to this course.

The end of this semester marks the end of the battle struggling to submit whatever work right on the dot...seven weeks - more like a month?? Thankfully,I did hand up all my assignments on time and did not skip a day of work...time management is still in OK mode ;-) The best part is, I am still keeping one new year resolution very much alive (and neglected the other 9)...Year 2008 seems to flying by fast...but I just received the UNITAR 2008 Academic Calendar =P How nice is that?

May the examinations be nice and easy,holidays a jolly good one...next semester? We will talk about that later...right after the holidays are over...

.::Unforgettable Moment::.

2008-07-01T07:40:00.000-07:00

Ginger Loo’s black skirt was so tight that the person walking behind her was staring at her bottom, waiting for her skirt zipper to tear open. She walks like she’s the boss of her own and dresses like she was the only person who has fashion sense. Yes, Ginger Loo has finally made it to the top of her career, the Senior Editor for XuiXui Magazine. She determines who writes what, who can be featured – basically naming who is important and who is not. It was just a year ago when it all happened to poor Ginger. She used to be happily married, fat and was nobody. Now? She is single, available and ready to mingle. Not to mention more famous than her ex-husband. Nobody messes with Ginger unless they want to be fried and fired from the fashion world, forever.

She was married to a man who bakes. He bakes, bakes, bakes and suddenly he becomes famous for his wedding cakes. The cakes were so delicious, even Ginger can’t resist the sight of it. The first 3 years of marriage was filled with bliss, until the day Ginger could not fit into her beloved Prada dress. She tried to put it on for their wedding anniversary dinner that night. God knows how many times she tried. She tried from the top to the bottom, from the bottom to the top, sucking in her tummy and forcing her cheeks to tighten. Nothing worked. Ginger Loo was fat. She grew fatter. Then she was huge. She never did realise it until the day she tried to fit into her RM7,000 Prada dress. Mind you, she even tried it with her slimming corset. It didn’t work alright.

“Honey!!! I can’t fit into my dress, my RM7,000 dress!! What am I going to wear tonight??” Ginger shouted from the second floor of their 3 storey bungalow.

There was no reply from her lovely wedding baker husband.

“Honey?? Did you hear what I just said? Honey??!”

Ginger put on her bath rob and walked down the stairs to the ground floor. Her husband was neither in the hall nor the dining room. When she was walking pass the powder room, she heard some noise from the maid’s room. Then bam!! She saw two bodies rolling on the bed covered by the maid’s red hot blanket.

“Honey…are you sleeping with OUR maid now? Now that you are all famous, I thought you’d be sleeping with Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan…you know?!”

The two bodies moved in unison and scrambled to uncover their faces. Shocked, sweaty and panting her husband replied, “Baby, it’s not what you think…we were just, you know? Maria was just massaging my back. And, she dropped her ring somewhere between my toes. Baby darling I would never lie to you because I am your sweet honey…remember?”

“Oh Honey, you are so cute…I can’t believe all that dough has gotten into your brains and now you are actually sleeping with our maid when I was shouting from the top of my lungs telling you I can’t fit into my dress?? How could you cheat on me like this? I need my lawyer, my keys, my car keys and I want my penthouse back. And you, Ms Home-Wrecker you are so going home.”

“But Pumpkin, I bought this house and the penthouse and the Porsche Boxster. You can’t just take them away. And you are not going to leave me are you? You know I bake the best lemon cheese cake in the world. You know that. You haven’t had a job since 2 years ago and, and you should just buy more mirrors to look at your own bubble face. It’s huge.”

“Did you just call me fat? If that is how you want it to be, then so be it wedding baker! You bought all of the properties under my name and daddy paid some of it. So, now I own the bloody house, and everything else. You get your booty out of here before I call up my lawyer. Yes, I am leaving you. Divorce is the perfect word. The papers will be done by tomorrow. You’re a big lump of overnight dough yourself! FYI, I made you famous because I married you and your baking skills.”

“Whatever ex-wife. I am leaving alright, but you better get the papers done right tomorrow cause I can’t wait to divorce a hippo.”

A few pillows were flying around the room and when it was all over, Ginger’s wedding baker husband fled off with the maid.

That was the ultimate unforgettable moment for Ginger. All because she wanted lemon cheese cake and she met Charles. Well, it’s over and she had never eaten Lemon lheese cake ever since. Ginger had to start a new life and that was when she decided to join XuiXui magazine and aimed for the top, or nothing. She finally got what she wanted and survived a year without the cheesecake.

.::Story of a Photograph::.

2008-06-30T05:22:00.000-07:00

This is a photograph of me and my best friend,Agnes Ng Mei Yee.She was in her green apple shirt, with an adorable smile spread across her chubby face. It was a small gathering between Henn Drik, Lih En Mei Yee and me. We decided to meet and hang out in Starbucks, SS15 Subang Jaya. Lih En was actually teasing Henn Drik about him being a stingy poke for not ordering any drinks from the counter. Then Henn Drik became our camera man that night. Mei Yee's hair had red highlights, which were more visible than usual. She then told me she highlighted her hair again,before flying off to Czech Republic. The spectacles she wore fitted perfectly with her face and matched her hair colour. That night, I realised I was the only person without spectacles. The background of the photograph was brightly lit with white fluorescene light. Starbucks was also rather empty, leaving ample space for us to take photographs. I wore my hair down - almost covering the blue shirt that I wore. Mei Yee and Lih En wore the same coloured shirt, while Henn Drik and I were in blue coloured tops. The only jewellery I was wearing could hardly be seen, ulike the big bengal Lih En had. We were sitting close to each other, Mei Yee's shoulder and arms covered almost half of my body in this photograph. We took a few more snap shots - we even changed seats. Her green apple shirt had some grey prints that looked like passport signs from around the world. Something that is a trademark from Giordano t-shirt designs. The night was most memorable for the four of us.

.::What I Can't Own::.(Child Prodigy Poem)

2008-06-23T06:37:00.000-07:00

I wish I see the stars,
Like beautifully crafted diamonds,
Rather than particles,
That is made out of dust.

I hope I can learn,
Like a common peasant,
Rather than a philosopher,
With a modern virtue.

I wish to be just like you,
Running with the others,
Playing like fools,
Ignoring all the simple rules.

I want what I can't have,
What I can't own,
Despite the many gifts,
That I am blessed.

.::Clear::.(poem from someone)

2008-06-23T06:22:00.000-07:00

It used to be blur,
With all that smear,
The expression you had,
With all that fear,

You used to be here,
Whenever I am near.

Things used to be so,
They used to follow the flow.

It was never clear,
The feelings you had,
Or the anger I possess,
Or even the beautiful things we shared.

It was never around,
Until now,
All things begin to be clear.

.::Summer::.(poem to someone)

2008-06-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Summer time,
The weather so warm and kind,
Reminding me of,
Strawberries and lime.

Unlike winter or fall,
Usually so cold and lonely,
The summer sun shines,
Making everyone cheery.

Summer drops by,
Every once a year,
Summer flew off,
Leaving everyone so dear.

We gather for winter,
And also for summer,
But it is in our heart,
When summer is here.

.::The Ink::.(poem from someone)

2008-06-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

The Ink is dull,
The picture faded,
I went down the hill,
But the dance ended.

The sun is bright,
And the sea has tides,
But you shadow that light,
It gave me quite a fright.

You sang to me,
Like the howling trees and
The symphony of bees.

Alas,it unveils my deeds.

.::Remember Me?::.(poem for someone)

2008-06-19T01:39:00.000-07:00

Does it mean anything to you?
Anything that gives you a clue,
Because I wonder if it's true,
The postcard you sent from the zoo,
With yourself and a cow called "moo".

Don't you remember the day we met,
With cotton candies and all that,
I can only remember the day you fled,
With your bags and our favourite hat,
God knows how much I have wept.

This is how I repay my debts,
By dancing with all that jazz,
Cause you took whatever I had,
Leaving me with nothing left.

.::Daughter's Point of View::.

2008-06-16T18:44:00.000-07:00

It was already 5pm and daddy is not home yet.Its no surprise cause he is so used to working late and missed dinner with the family.But since its my 16th birthday,I want to spend more time with daddy so I personally bought us two tickets to "Midsommer's Night Dream," a romantic play with some comedy.Hopefully daddy will enjoy it as much as I will.Mummy kept calling daddy but she could not get him.Something tells me daddy just did not want to answer mummy's phone calls.When he finally pick up the call,I was escalating and jumped onto my feet to get dress.

I rummaged my closet for the right dress for such a great occassion.All of a sudden I remembered the gift daddy bought me from London.I was angry with him at that time,for leaving me,mummy and Luke at home while he traveled all the way to London for some business trip.It was for a month.God knows I missed him dearly.So,I decided to put on the blue chiffon dress he bought for me,just to please him and mummy.Mummy likes that dress very much.She even forced me to wear it for cousin Abby's wedding a month ago,but I refused.

Daddy finally got home.I was peeking from upstairs and I saw that his expression was not enthusiastic as I was about the play.Maybe its because he is tired from work.I went back into my room when daddy came up the stairs.Then when mummy called for me,I went down to show her what I wore.She was happy about it,but I wished mummy had the time to go as well.She told me Luke was too young to go to to the play and Luke will never enjoy it.I reluctantly agredd with mummy.Daddy finally came down and I saw that his tie was out of place,but I didn't say anything because I think it was funny to see him rush around for me.

When we were getting out of the house,daddy's expression looked like he was worried about something.And when he caught me staring,his expression changed to something more lively,just like he was trying to hide his feelings from me.I can't wait for the play and still hoped that daddy will enjoy it with me.

.::Father's Point of View::.

2008-06-16T18:23:00.001-07:00

It was almost 5pm,yet I still have five documents to go through.Sheela had been calling since my meeting ended and its really getting on my nerves.I wonder why she called when she knows very well that I am not only busy but pressured with work.When I finally pick up her call,she almost shouted at me,telling me that I am late to get home and bring Lisa out for her birthday.God knows I did not forget all about my daughter's birthday intentionally.I cleared my desk,packed teo of the documents in my briefcase and rush out of the office.When I got onto the car,I reallised that I do not exactly remember how old my daughter is...15 or 16?She just grows so fast.Thankfully,the traffic was less hectic and I managed to reach home in half an hour's time.

Before I could open the door of my house,my wife flung the door opened and reminded me how late I was and how irresponsible I had been.She then broke the news to me that Lisa had actually book two tickets for a romantic play where we can wine and dine as well.For a moment I felt a little lost because no one told me my daughter bought her own brithday gift and it turned out to be a surprise to me,but not to her.So,its just me and Lisa since Sheela had to babysit Luke.I wasn't sure how much it cost her,but I assumed that she got the money from my wife.I had little hope that the play would be worth the money she paid for it.I walked up the stairs and quickly jump into the shower because the play was just an hour away.

My daughter was already waiting downstairs when I was trying to put on my tie properly.She looked really pretty in her blue chiffon gown.It was the first time I saw her wearing the gift I got for her from London.Despite all that,I was still a bit worried about the documents that I was suppose to be done with before I left my office.I hope my daughter did not notice how I felt about the whole romantic play,because she'd be upset about it.Maybe I should perk up a bit,since its been long I have been to a formal performance with my daughter.

My Favourite Fiction Character

2008-06-15T08:55:00.000-07:00

When my classmate told me that this is the title for our fourth journal entry,it really got me thinking.Thinking really hard,actually.I read many books and never really had a particular character that I favour.Perhaps,I used to...but have forgotten about it,altogether.Well now,after thinking for quite some time my favourite character comes from one of my favourite books =) "Little Women" by Loisa May Alcott.Ladies and gentlemen, my favourite fiction character is Josephine March.The tomboy of the sisters,the loud and odd one in the family.Josephine March, the character that somehow potrays Louisa May Alcott herself.

She represents a different personality compared to many classical fictions I read about women those days.Jo speaks her mind and is always trying her best to be independent or to be the head of the family when her father was away. Other than that,Jo is also a very imaginative person because she created characters where she would then act as one of the character with her other sisters. To me,Jo is more rebellious compared to her other sisters because she always seems to do things the other way,unlike a lady but more of a man.

There is one particular phrase I like from Jo.It is simply funny and full of sarcasm,"He's as dull as powder,Meg.Can't you at least marry someone amusing?"referring to her older sister's choice of man as boring and dull.I like the fact that Jo relates dull with powder - something that is so plain,anyone can own.Jo's choice of man was very different, like her fun loving neighbour Laurie.But they never got married because Jo feels that they'd never be happy due to their personalities. Both Jo and Laurie are very stubborn people and Jo almost always gets what she wants.

The other reason for me to like Jo compared to her other sisters is because of her ambition on becoming a writer.An ambition hardly any women would think of pursuing,in those days.Her drive to be published and successful adds more depth into her character.Then of course,I can relate to her younger years of being a tomboy.I was one myself.Never was into the flair skirts and the laces...I only left my hair long after graduating from high school(I beat Jo to that)

This is it,Josephine March my favourite fiction character.

The Movie:High Fidelity

2008-06-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

So,we were suppose to know how characters developed that day...my lecturer decided to teach us that particular skill through a different method - watch a movie in class.Awesome!!! =) Yes,I was more than delighted to watch a movie in class.We had 3 options,The Dead Poet's Society,High Fidelity and...I forgot what was the 3rd?Anyways,we picked High Fidelity...well,sort of.The first thing that came to my mind was,what does "fidelity" means?My two pals were nice enough to give me the meaning.Azzief with the descriptiong of the word and Azwan with the definition from his dictionary.I must say,the title of the movie absolutely suits the whole story.

When the movie started,I felt that this movie has definitely got to do with a whole lot of music - Rob listening to Pop music while drowning himself in misery was the que to it.The character Rob(John Cusack) seem very troubled and not to mention depressed.Not a very pleasant main character,unlike in the common love stories .How odd for a movie to start this way.Then when Laura left him(Rob's long time girlfriend) I thought they'd never get back together.Well,the only thing that I got right was that the movie is not your typical love story with romantic dialogues and just so you know...there ain't no prince charming in this movie.Just plain human beings with different personalities.

While watching the movie,I was really impressed with the script actually.Rob,the main character narrated his own life throughout the whole movie.Something more than a monologue or a soliloquoy,Rob was actually telling us the story of his life.The part that mattered to him and how his character developed.Although I can't relate to all the music or songs from this movie,but it definitely has a nice touch on the relationship between music and our life.Plus Rob has got a really great job...he owns a record store - something I would like to own(maybe).

I really like how the character Barry(Jack Black) becomes the joker all the time.Despite the dirty jokes and sarcasm,Barry delivers a lot and he speaks his mind - a very straight forward man with lots of jokes.Humour in a movie is the best way to win my heart.Lets just say I am a humour-addict (does this word exist?).Personally,I am quite tired of the typical love stories everyone knows,so High Fidelity is rather refreshing.Something different,with a blend of life,love,humour and friendship.

The only part that got me thinking the most was when Rob confessed that he did pretty nasty things while he was with Laura...he cheated on her,she lost a baby because of him,he never bothered returning Laura her money she lent him.I do not understand why or how he can hurt another person's feelings so badly and sleep well at night.At first I thought Laura simply left him because he was either not earning enough,or not ideal for her.By the end of the movie,it finally made sense to why they broke up,then got back together.

After watching the movie,I got the message that our lecturer was trying to help us break lose from the typical plots we can find everywhere...High Fidelity truly distinguished itself from the others.The characters in the movie are very human,very believable(brilliant!) and I can relate myself with their feelings in certain situations.That is why I admire the script writing...and the element of music in this movie just made it simply a pleasure to watch.To merely gain a little bit of knowledge about rock music makes me happy =) It may not be a movie that entertains everyone but it is a movie that is great in a different way.

-Life In Books-

2008-05-28T09:41:00.000-07:00

Hmm...books,books,books...they are my favourite regardless the title or author,as long as its fictional.I prefer books written in the form of stories,where things can be made up and altogether mixed with reality.I guess that's the fun about stories...you can never be too sure about the existence of Mermaids or cursed islands.Life in books,or rather life in fictions seem way more interesting than the plain reality we experience everyday.However,I believe that there are many times we relate ourselves to certain characters in the stories we read...My very first experience of reading a book was Peter and Jane in kindergarten.I will be so anxious to read the whole book and feel all excited when I could finish the book in less than one day.I mean,come on...I was just 4 or 5 years old.Therefore reading an English book(which is not my Mother Tongue)is a great accomplishment.Then when I needed to learn our national language,Bahasa Malaysia I started to read the local folk tales about "Mahsuri","Hang Tuah" or mystery books like "Tiga Penyiasat" and more.I enjoyed reading tremendously,because I let my imaginations show me how the stories are like...

Of course,there is the occasional Enid Blyton stories which influenced me to think and believe that magic does exist in this world.I pretty much enjoyed reading the "Magic Brush".Now,I wonder why?Maybe it is because these were my first encounter with books about magic,pretty things in life,a little bit of humour and I was a child.Enid Blyton made me believe the world has more magic,than what adults know of.How great is that?Even the characters excites me with their daily life.Fantasy world seems to be way more exciting than reality...Once my dad bought me this huge book filled with pictures and Fairy Tales,I went nuts!It was like hitting the jackpot,because the stories were not only different from the usual Fairy Tales but there were pictures!!!Unfortunately,I can't remember any titles from the book now.I think its because I hardly bother to know what the title was.These stories perks up my imaginations,improved my English and made me a little more knowledgable.Well those were the days...

My experience with books continued when I was about 10 years old.Since books were(and still are) a luxury to own(main stream titles mostly...)my mum and I opted to rent books.Being the young girl that I was,I loved reading Teen Horrors by R.L Stine.He was my ultimate favourite author because he wrote good horror fictions.Not all of them rock,but most of them had good plots and the ending always makes me feel like I need to read more of his books.I was addicted to Horror Fiction.Other than that,being the little girl I was I read Sweet Valley High books,simply to improve my English and know a little more about sisters.I do not have a sister,only an elder brother.I used to wonderwhat its like to have a sister instead of a brother.Horror fictions and Sweet Valley books conquered my last two years of Primary School.To be honest,I had a thing for vampire fictions...because authors always potray vampires as mysterious characters which amazes me."The Awakening" by R.L Stine was one of the most memorable title because of its plot.The way he described the kiling scenes by the spirit,how the dark secrets unfold,the development of the main character and the truth about certain characters simply got me reading the book more than twice.But his writing style did not influence me all that much,because I never did write any Horror Fiction before.

In Secondary School,I developed a liking for classics despite reading "Huckleberry Finn" and "Great Expectations" when I was younger."Little Women" by Louisa May Alcott made me feel like writing can be such a beautiful thing and from that moment I wanted to work as a writer.Dreams...they come to me in all forms."Little Women" taught me how the world was like in another country.The detailed description about how Christmas was celebrated,the words carefully chosen to potray a warm and loving family got me to love the book more than any other classics.The main character attracted my attention because she had her own story in this book and what she did for a living as a writer inspired me.Again the plot of the story was interesting and it got me all hooked to the book... =)

There was once,somewhere around year 2003-2004,I actually bought a book(almost through impulse and because of its cover)..."The Song By An Innocent Bystander" by Ian Bone.Reading this book is a new experience to me because I have not read a book from viewpoints of 3 different characters.Each character was telling their part of the story.A writing style I was not used to,so I read slower to digest the information and the story line altogether.I suppose I did not enjoy it at first,but things pick up a little and I got the hang of reading from 3 different characters.This is the book that brought me out of my old reading habits.The book that showed me that there are more than just horror,classics and love stories.

When I finally pick up a new book,it was by Mitch Albom entitled,"The Five People You Meet In Heaven".A book about how life is after death,something that interests me veru much.After reading the book,I realise that the author surprised me with the way the story went.It was a book that made me want to know more about life after death,and it is also a book meant to inspire people.The story was about an old men who hated his life all along until he understood why things were the way it was.It inspire me to be a better person,in small ways because the book made me realise that life is a full circle - whatever you do,it all comes back to you.

Books,books,books...=)

.::The New Semester::.

2008-05-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

The first day of the semester started with a little twist.As usual,I was waiting for my dear friend Syah to join me for breakfast.While waiting,random thoughts came into my mind and all of a sudden I realised that he might already be in his Literature class,which was suppose to start at 8.30am.When I finally left the restaurant,I saw this familiar face walking out of the Student Lounge - Syah.Reluctantly,I followed him to the same restaurant, where I spent 20 minutes waiting for him.He decided to join his friend,who was sitting at a corner.When it was finally 8.30am,I was not sure what to do because my classes will only begin about 3 hours later.Being Syah,he invited me to join the Literature class,despite the fact that both of us know that I have already taken that particular subject last year.Thinking that I have nothing to lose,I simply went along with the plan.

We faced a few difficulties to actually reach our destination.Well,first we did not know that the elevator did not have a Ground Floor,so Ching Wei simply walks out to the same floor that we entered the lift.It was almost hillarious when she actually did not realise the obvious mistake,until I called out to her.Then we did not know where the tutorial room was.And when we found the tutorial room,we saw that the door was still locked.While waiting,I decided to call another friend but did not do so when Syah told me to look down and I saw one whole group of our friends hanging out in Ah Cheng Laksa Restaurant with their new lecturer.For some odd reason,I felt extremely happy to see them.

These friends of mine are capable to brighten up my day and at the same time murder me with their endless art of teasing.Yes,for some unfortunate reason I am their victim of jokes.Thankfully,they do have some mercy on me,during certain occassions.Friends,can't live without or with them.

I actually sneaked out of Literature class when Jess called me because she wanted to talk to me regarding her personal business.Luckily,the lecturer did not notice my absence when she was back in class.I enjoyed her class,but I did not regret taking the subject much earlier.The day continued with the disappearing act of our Fundamentals of IT lecturer.She did not turn up for class.Therefore,we went for lunch and waited till 2.30pm for the next class.First class was nice,quick and easy to digest.Like it or not,I was afraid we had to submit hardcopies for journal writing.Blogging online is way easier.Knowing the fact that the short semester is filled with homeworks,I took the effort to note down everything important,so that I would actually finish my work in time.

So,new semester,new lecturers,new friends.It did not turn out so bad,despite the unexpected occassions that happened.Unfortunately,the week turned out to be a tiring one because I was either working or attending classes and finaly my health gave in - the influenza virus caught me off-guard.A beautiful Saturday,spent at home with a sweater and a few boxes of tissues.I almost did promise myself to sleep early,but thank God I did not do so.Its already 11pm and I am still wide awake.

Lets hope we have a great Sunday before the Monday Blues hit us.Happy Holidays to school children!!I missed school holidays,such long holidays they have =)